Esoteric and Nebulous

It's OK to be unique! It's OK to be an original! It's OK to be a geek! I'm sick and tired and, quite frankly, pissed off at people trying to convince the world otherwise. Accept me as I am or FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all.

It's the beginning of the day after the day after Turkey Day (or just plain the day after Black Friday, where people don't know the meaning of the words "conspicuous consumption"...no literally, they don't--people are damn ignorant). This brings me to my latest epiphany. While it's true that my general misery is indigenous to me, it is at best, only partially my fault. This is because people suck. By "suck" I'm not talking about the fun kind that involves a significant other and mutual nakedity. Hell, I'm not even talking about an odd propensity to use a drinking straw for beverages or some just plain bizarre affliction that causes folks to imitate a Hoover vacuum (i.e. a vacuum that heartlessly presides over the worst economic downturn in U.S. history).

No, the kind of suck in play here cannot be easily defined. It's the kind of suck that makes people like me feel lonely and bored. The problem, despite what some may contend, is not with me but with others. It is not I who has low self-esteem, it is everyone else in the world who I have no esteem for until earnt (and very few succeed in proving themselves to me, and those who do...well more on that later). It is my profoundly unscientific opinion that there's a percentage breakdown of the general population of the world of 95/4/1.

95% percent of all people just plain suck. They are beyond redemption and beneath my contempt. They like 50 Cent and Fear Factor. They work 9 to 5. They take the same route to work everyday. They make the same stop for coffee in the morning everyday because they can't get going without their coffee coffee COFFEE! They go on lunch break the same time everyday with the same people. "Hey Phil, hey Stan, how's the wife? Patty, is your kid still getting straight A's?" They make the same stops each night on the way home. They take the same route home everyday. 5 days and 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year, for the next 40 years. They get a brewski with co-workers and/or friends at the dive of their choice every Friday. The men go cruising similar dives every Saturday looking to get laid. The women show up knowing these men will buy them drinks, making the nice ones more receptive to getting laid and the slutty ones more likely to drop the act pretending to be one of the nice ones. The guys bag their prize or go home and masturbate in lieu of said prize. The women not taken home by last call's end go do whatever women do when they've had too much to drink and no one to open their legs for. Sunday comes, the men watch sports, the women do chores or shop. The whole lot of them hang with each other from time to time, spouting their intellectually vapid garbage at uninteresting theme parties. They watch Desperate Housewives with a notebook and no clue that the program is tongue in cheek (actually, they don't...none of them would make the effort to take notes, and if they did, they would at best be mental notes, at least what passes for mentality). They are the jocks and cheerleaders, the married, and the browbeaten. They used to have original thoughts, maybe once, long ago, when they were kids. This was quickly discouraged, though. They got made fun of for liking Star Trek or Emily Dickinson, so they abandoned those things that made them different to "fit in." Imagine an overwhelming majority, an avalanche of people who are kowtowing to the kind of thing you thought you'd left behind in high school. This is what the 95% are. They are not just the ones who set the bar low, who determine what's mundane enough to be mainstream, but they are also the ones who gave up. They are the ones who USED to have a soul, a mind, a sense of being that has nothing to do with fitting in. They used to be themselves. They are now merely cogs in the Big Machine of Wrongness. What's worse is it's moving in reverse. Those responsible are content to let it do that. Those not responsible have given up on trying to change it. They go with the flow now, and are officially duped, sucked in, and become a part of the problem. 95%? All in this category? Yup, you bet your ass! Don't believe me? Just watch The Apprentice. People actually think that the way things are done in that show is precisely how business and interpersonal relationships should happen. Business as usual. Manipulation, backstabbing, one-upsmanship, rampant egomania by all involved. This is the world? This is what it's supposed to be? NO, IT'S NOT!!!!! If you disagree with me, you already are one of the 95% and I fear it's too late to save you from the mundane swill that envelops us. It drowns us in a way far worse than what happened to the city of New Orleans a few months ago--it's far more insidious because we won't know how much harm this kind of environment of mediocrity is doing to us until we can no longer breathe. Bad for us, but hey, as long as the huge corporations that feed and maintain the Machine get their profits before we're all gone, that's all that matters, right?

The remaining 5% of all people know better. They are smart, informed, and have an unwavering sense of self. They will not travel down the easiest path in life, just because it is easy. They find their own way, instead. Going out drinking and seeking sex has no appeal to them. They are too thoughtful and centered to bother with such public debauchery. They prefer their debauchery to be like everything else in their lives, smart, clever, and fun rather than cheap, disposable, and detached. They do not care to judge or be judged. If it is their whim to go to a Star Trek convention or a Ren Faire, or to read Harry Potter ravenously, or to learn a computer language, or to listen to and analyze They Might be Giants lyrics, they'll do it. To hell with what anyone else thinks, whatever they're into is what they're into, and they will not be deterred by agents of the Big Machine of Wrongness who try to convince them to abandon their quirkier pursuits. These are my kind of people. They are like me in one or many respects. They rage against the Machine (if you'll pardon the pun), or at the very least, they are not a willing participant in it most of the time. These are the only people I can get along well with. These are the only people WORTH getting along with. These are the only people who DESERVE to have someone as loyal and thoughtful as me in their lives.

You'll note that my original breakdown was 95/4/1. I've shown you a 95/5 breakdown. As you hopefully guessed (especially if you're among the 5%), the 5 breaks down to 4/1. You see, just because I can get along with this five percent of the populace, it doesn't mean THEY can get along with me. These are the 4%. These are the ones who get IT, but can't get ME. Perhaps they incorrectly see me as part of the 95%. Perhaps they can't deal with my quirks. Perhaps they have all the friends they need and don't have room for more. Any of these and more are possible. I'm not easy to get along with--after all, I'm not changing who I am for the Machine, so I'm not going to change for the 4% either. In a sense, the 4% have betrayed me and themselves. They expect others to get them, but when it comes time to welcome their brethren, they shun us if we do not meet their standards. They have, perhaps, forgotten, that they are not supposed to judge--people in glass houses and all that. There is hope for the 4%, but because they are among the 5%, they must find it on their own. They must make the journey to acceptance of their own accord. Trying to push them down the path most of them are hopefully destined to follow is like trying to push Everest to Sri Lanka. Hire an army of Shirpas if you wish, it's not going to budge.

This leaves us with the 1%. These are the people who think for themselves AND get me AND are willing to put up with me. I suspect 1% is a rounded number. It's probably closer to 0.5%. When you factor in that even among these people, there's about a 75% chance that sooner or later I'll alienate them or they'll alienate me to the point of discontinuing our association, and the problem becomes clear. It's easy for the 95% to find friends, lovers, spouses, buddies, etc. There's a greater pool of them, all thinking inside the box, the box that is used to ship the Big Machine of Wrongness to points unknown worldwide, no doubt. The 4% would be cool but for the fact they misguidedly don't want to deal with me. The 1% (rounded up) are few and far between and often have better things to do than to make me feel less lonely. When they are willing to give me a chance, it all goes south 3 times out of 4. It's frustrating and infuriating and makes me want to give up. I can't do that, though. I'm me and I can't give that up. I won't give that up. I will not be fodder for the Machine. It's very tough and I don't know how I'm going to get through this winter without friends to lean on. To say that I'm just going to have to try seems hollow. I cannot be anyone else, but it's not easy being me.

It's not an easy juxtaposition to go from trying to get my depression out of my system (which I can't say I have completely) to rattling on about something inane and pointless. I must, however, because if I don't I might forget and this really needs to be written somewhere so as I don't forget it. So without further ado....

Memo to the state of Utah:

What the hell were you people thinking? Your roadways make no sense! Mind you this is coming from a Rhode Islander. A friggin' Rhode Islander! Our DOT sucks. I mean it sucks big time. Everyone thinks that RI drivers suck, but it's not really our fault--it's the fact that our DOT is incredibly incompetent combined with the profound bad influence of Massachusetts drivers (we call them Mass holes) and the even worse influence of Connecticut drivers (just try not getting killed in the Nutmeg state...I mean between Martha and Letterman alone, you take your life in your hands passing though). But even so you, my dear Utah, take the cake. Move over California, move over (urban areas of) New Hampshire, there's a state that outdoes you both for poor roadway planning.

You know you're in trouble from the outset when the state's nickname becomes painfully clear. The Beehive State is Utah's moniker. The home of things that can harm you is what the state was proud enough of to adopt as it's nickname. Not content to leave it at that, though, they actually use the outline of a beehive as their "logo" for state routes. State route 123 (and mind you, I don't know if there is a Utah state route 123, but I'm not dragging out the stupid map (or even the intellectually gifted map), as I'm just trying to make a stupid (and definitely NOT intellectually gifted) point), for example, would be shown on signs inside the shape of a beehive. Just like state route numbers in Ohio are depicted, well, within an outline of the state of Ohio. Real original, by the way. I guess it was better for tourism then putting the state route numbers within an outline of a river set on fire. Ohio is not the target of my ire, however--at least not this time--so I digress.

The real trouble isn't the dreaded state routes and the wretched beehives that serve as their avatars. No, it's the interstate highways that really get obnoxious. Everything is assigned an exit number in this state. I do mean everything. Anytime you leave the field of travel, the diversion has an assigned exit number. Stopping at a rest area? It has an exit number. Trucker pulling into a weigh station? It has an exit number (the weigh station, not the trucker...one must make the distinction as some truckers would find the slutty connotation of having an exit number offensive...at least two or three of them anyways...truckers not exit numbers, that is--aw, skip it). Pull into the break down lane and pop the hood to wait for AAA? The state troopers will stop not to help, but to affix a temporary exit number to the top of the popped hood of your car. Yes they're serious about having a designation for everything. Didn't see one lousy exit pointing people in the direction of access to the Great Salt Lake (which was clearly visible from the Interstate at points), but what exits there were definitely had a number. Who cares where you're going as long as the exit has a number, right? Well, only after a fashion.

The good and um, "righteous" people of Utah ain't through with you yet, oh no. You see while every exit has a number, not every number has an exit. "He's finally flipped," I hear you cry. True, but I know of whence I speak in this one instance. You see, dearest reader, logic and government seldom go together. Logic and Utah are separated by as wide a gulf as man and ape (I know it's unfashionable to actually believe in all that evolution crap these days, but I'm one of those relics who actually buys into science and reason and being able to explain things rationally through logical methodology...hell, I may well be the missing link, no one's proven otherwise, much to my chagrin). What I'm getting at here is that on the interstate highway that runs in a north/south direction through Salt Lake City, Provo, and the other big metroplexes like Farmington and Lehi (I'll assume you can see my sarcasm, as if you can't you're probably too dumb, or better yet, too smart to have read this far) that comprise Utah's primary population center, the exits are numbered differently depending upon the direction you're traveling. Exit 238 northbound may well be exit 241 southbound. Neither the Rand McNally nor the AAA atlases used as a reference for this excursion pointed out this nonsensical policy. If either did, I certainly didn't see it--it would have had to have been in fine print or perhaps locked away in an obscure location that only the likes of I and Arthur Dent would have the misfortune to have to contend with.

So what's the problem, Utah? Is there something in the book of Mormon that directs you to keep your roadways in such a user-unfriendly state? I think I remember that passage from their holy book whilst perusing it in my hotel room (since for some inexplicable reason the only channels available were The Weather Channel and Home Shopping (the jewelry edition)...I knew Utah was ruled by the religious right, but this desperate attempt to convert tourists is just plain lame and pathetic): And the Lord said, "Go forth and confuse non-believers. Show unto them my righteousness or deliver them from the settlement I provide unto thee by making their path unclear. For only the good shall reap the benefits of this land, the rest shall be exiled to Montana (the land I doth permitted Satan to use to house the overflow of the wicked in his hoary nether region). Ashes to ashes, Osmond to Osmond, go in peace with your wives (just the human ones, leave the sheep please) and spread my word. Se La." Or maybe you're all just total bastards? Nah, if that were the case, you'd all be in the FBI (or so claims Arlo Guthrie, anyways).

Bottom line, Utah, get your act together and play nice like the normal states (i.e. NOT Ohio or California or Rhode Island or New Hampshire or...aw, heck, maybe it would save us both a lot of trouble if you just seceded from the union--I mean what's the worse that can happen, civil war? Over a state wanting out? Please, like THAT could happen....). Rest assured that my rage toward you, Utah, has nothing to do with the fact that I couldn't find a decent meal in the whole state or that you gave my colleague a $300+ speeding ticket. Well, maybe a little. In fact, maybe entirely. You know what...disregard this whole diatribe, those are definitely the reasons.

That said, your DOT still sucks.

--
What is the half-life of a Blog anyways? The lapse between visits keeps doubling in length for me. I think it's because I don't care. Perhaps because I have nothing to say. Maybe just because it's not worth the trouble. I could tell all and it wouldn't matter--no one's reading anyways. Why bother. I'm sick of venting. Venting calms me momentarily until the next crisis, then where am I?

I guess I just thought that if I was patient, all would turn out well. Good things come to those who wait, right? I muddle through every disappointment and try to remind myself that the pain inflicted upon me by the universe is only to offset the good things that will one day be coming my way. Every disappointment is payment towards my eventual happiness. I don't know how much longer I can shoulder the load, though. I don't know how much more of people bailing on me, not giving me a chance, not providing a shoulder for me to cry on I can live with. It all builds up and my hopeful vision of the world is blurred into a kaleidoscope of tears. I've been waiting for my turn for a long time and sometimes the carrot is dangled so close to me I can smell it, but still I never catch it.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I know I could have it much worse. I live in what is jingoistically called the greatest nation on Earth--a bit of propaganda that seems to hold some truth. I'm not starving or homeless. I still think I'm entitled to my pain, though. When your heart is broken over and over again, when it hasn't been fed, been loved or allowed to give love, isn't that nearly as tragic as all those more tangible forms of suffering? And don't give me any shit about whiney complaining. Have you been there? Have you been without a counterpart for not weeks or months, but years? If not, just shut the fuck up, OK. You don't know and you'll never know, so either help me get what I need or get the hell out of my way. Angry? Probably a little, yes. You'd be too if you've been as deprived as I have. Humans need emotional support, especially those humans as emotional as I. I can't get by like this much longer. Someone, somewhere, please...nourish my soul, restore what little remains of my faith in human nature. And for the love of God, don't break my heart...again.

No, I'm well past venting making me feel markedly better. Well past it by far....

A waiting world notes the increasing lags in time between posts to my blog. After an interminable duration, I present to you..."the latest."

Nothing heavy this time, though. Nope. Instead of my usual introspection or vaguely humorous stories or uncool angst, today's fare is not even worthy of the buildup of lo these many moons.

My return to the blog was prompted by a thought--"I wonder what the full list is of acts I've ever seen in concert?" I have no hope of remembering all of them. Some were just opening acts that I've forgotten. Others I only caught one or two songs from, as the concert wasn't my primary reason for being wherever I was. Others still were just plain a long time ago. So below, I'm going to try to summon my powers of memory to list as many as I can think of. Dates of shows are included, when known. This post may be edited if any new ones come to mind.

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (local radio birthday concert, my first show...note: "Weird Al" Yankovic was one of the MCs, but did not perform)
John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band (local radio birthday concert, my first show)
Ashford & Simpson (local radio birthday concert, my first show)
Expose (was trying to win "Weird Al" tickets and ended up with these instead...long story)
"Weird Al" Yankovic (several times, including 8/6/99 and at least two Rocky Point shows)
They Might be Giants (several times, Apollo 18 era through the present, including 1/19/96, 11/10/03, 11/11/03, 12/26/03, & 7/24/04)
Dave Gregory (!) (Aimee Mann was the actual headliner--he was just playing guitar in her band, but I was most definitely there to see him, 11/11/93)
Gin Blossoms (7/22/94, Riverside Stadium show)
Cracker (7/22/94, Riverside Stadium show)
Spin Doctors (7/22/94, Riverside Stadium show)
Huey Lewis & the News (7/30/91, circa Hard at Play)
Davy Jones (caught one or two songs inadvertently at a free show earlier this summer)
Christine Lavin
DaVinci's Notebook
Jian Ghomeshi (of Moxy Fruvous) (10/26/01)
Dan Hart (several times)
Sponge Awareness Foundation (twice)
Billy Joel (circa Storm Front)
R.E.M. (circa Monster or New Adventures in Hi-Fi)
Ben Folds Five (circa Reinhold Messner)
Ben Folds (solo with Rockin' the Suburbs band)
Ben Folds (solo without band, just piano twice, including 11/9/03)
Son Volt
The Wallflowers
Candy Butchers (opener for TMBG, didn't really pay attention)
Fountains of Wayne (on the same bill with TMBG a few weeks ago...excellent show!)
Don Henley (concert for Walden Woods, 9/6/93)
Sting (concert for Walden Woods, 9/6/93)
Aerosmith (concert for Walden Woods, 9/6/93)
Jimmy Buffett (concert for Walden Woods, 9/6/93)
Genesis (5/28/92, circa We Can't Dance)
Throwing Toasters (Grant B. only)
The Legendaires (band of Holiday World employees that played for the ACE Coaster Con a few years ago)
Jim's Big Ego
John Forster (twice, double bill with below both times)
Don White (twice, double bill with above both times)
Eagles (8/7/94)
Corn Mo (opener for TMBG, strangely cool act)
Guster (10/30/03)
Peter Gabriel (7/19/94 WOMAD show)
Midnight Oil (7/19/94 WOMAD show)
Arrested Development (7/19/94 WOMAD show)
Live (7/19/94 WOMAD show)
Dire Straits (3/1/92, circa On Every Street)
Martina Sorbara (10/26/01, opener for Jian Ghomeshi)
Squeeze (at least twice...I remember once with a full band and Paul Carrack in the lineup and once more with just Difford and Tilbrook acoustic)
Built to Spill (opener for Ben Folds...so much talent wasted on such mediocre songs)
Joe Paquin (my high school physics teacher who performed several impromptu cover shows with his acoustic guitar in his classroom and in the Cumberland High foyer...usually just before Christmas break)
Stefan Couture (not sure if I got his name right...he was live in the studio at WOON during an episode of our Explorer Post show; I was the board op for his performance)
Manny Brandao (board op for several episodes of The Manny Brandao Show on WOON, Woonsocket, RI--he usually sang along to a tape, karaoke-style, but occasionally had acoustic guitar accompaniment)

That's all I can think of. Will update, if/as applicable.

I thought to myself, "perhaps I should try this eHarmony thing that a friend told me about." So OK, I go to the site, sign myself up, spend an hour or so filling out the questioneer and what do I get for my troubles? A message saying that there's about 20% of people out there for whom their matching profiles don't work, and that I'm among that 20%. If I were so easy to pin down in such questioneers, I probably wouldn't need eHarmony though, right? Nothing's ever easy and the promise of something better, that could really make a difference in my life, turns out to be nothing more than a lie, like so many others that came before. Bleh.

Three months since last I blogged...a new record. Oy vey. Let's work backwards....

This past weekend was just too darn hectic for its own good. There were some rather noteworthy disappointments, not the least of which included getting the cold shoulder from certain people I could name. A part of me is losing patience. A part of me wanted to send an overstated email asking just what it was going to take to earn forgiveness. I offer the benefit of the doubt though, and keep the faith that time will heal the wounds. She is still family to me but I must admit, I'm a little pissed and a lot disappointed in her. The kicker is that I'll probably forgive this unpleasant treatment far too easily. It only remains to be seen whether this makes me a really good friend or the world's biggest doormat. After all, in the words of Andy Partridge, "People will always be tempted to wipe their feet on anything with welcome written on it." Between this, the poor showing at my sales table, and certain other political garbage that I'm not even going to get into, I consider myself very fortunate to have had Marc, Jill, and Emery to lean on. I promise, we'll do the porn shop next year, guys...really. :P

So as tempted as I am to be cruel to certain people I could name right now, I respect the friendship (and the potential to re-strengthen it) too much to go there. The same cannot be said for the person formerly known as my little Guster fan. As you may recall, we had (what I thought was) a great first date that resulted in absolutely no further willingness to make an effort to contact me. I feel I at least deserve an explanation as to why no second date, but obviously she didn't have the class for that. She certainly doesn't seem to deserve a man of such effervescent personality and compassion as I. I digress. As time passed, I got to looking at some web sites, seeing what sort of concerts were coming to town. I eventually found something that brought me uncontrollable laughter for several minutes. It would seem that her favorite band, Guster, is coming to town next month. "Yeah, so?" you're thinking. I'm getting to the good part. Seems they're opening for John Mayer. Turns out they're opening for John Mayer for a good long stretch of shows. She HATES John Mayer. In my world, there rarely is any justice. When there is, it is doled out in small, unusual, and ironic packages. My little Guster fan is experiencing some small form of justice as it applies in my world. She either has to spend all this extra cash for concert tickets and put up with John Mayer (or leave early) or not go and miss her favorite band. How unfortunate for her. Not. I feel somewhat vindicated, even if only in the most hollow of ways.

My birthday (Feb. 5) was fairly quiet. Got some nice gifts from the family, as well as a surprise or two from friends. In case you're wondering my age, let's just say I'm now old enough to no longer be trusted by the counter-culture. :(

By the by, if you haven't heard the songwriting magic of one David Yazbek, run don't walk to www.davidyazbek.com and buy everything he's got. If you like pop music wrapped in challenging, unusual arrangements and interesting lyrics, you just can't go wrong. Trust me.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire is coming back to prime time in the form of Super Millionaire! YAY! It's about time the networks came back to their senses and realized that game shows belong in prime time and that reality programming, for the most part, is total crap (exceptions made for The Amazing Race and The Mole). We can only hope that it's successful and that ABC doesn't run it into the ground. Oh wait, this IS the Disney Corporation we're talking about...they run EVERYTHING into the ground. I do live in fear of a potential Michael Eisner resignation, however, lest he be replaced with Gary Story.

January was not unlike December, except not as holiday-tastic and much more arctic. It was colder than every woman who ever rejected me, combined...that's pretty cold right there, I tells ya. :)

I got a new part-time job working for RGIS, the inventory control specialist people. It's a bit too physical for my liking, plus I can't get enough hours with them to feel good about it. Must find desk job. Comfy little part-time desk job. That's all I ask for from the wonderful world of gainful employment, is that so dang hard to give me? Bleh.

Christmas was festive. The highlight for me of the season, however was actually Boxing Day. I don't really celebrate Boxing Day, mind you, but it falls on the day after Christmas and on the day after Christmas, I went to New York to see They Might be Giants "other thing" show, featuring Mark Pender and two other musicians comprising a now-rare brass section. This was the best TMBG show I've ever seen. They performed many songs I hadn't seen them play live before. Shoehorn with Teeth was hilarious, as Marty Beller had the most challenging percussion part of his life (or maybe not). I hope to write a detailed review of my day here (which not only includes the show, but a stop at Grimaldi's in Brooklyn for pizza and a subway ride between there and Irving Plaza) when I've had a chance to review my notes more thoroughly. For now, suffice it to say, it was a good time.

I went on one of those speed dating things in late November or December, but I really don't want to talk about it.

I bought a new CD recorder, which came in handy for a plethora of projects I was working on at the end of the year. Accordingly, this brought about an end to the (dull) saga of my broken CD recorder, as discussed back in the summer.

No game show network free preview since October and I'm getting antsy. C'mon Cox, let's make this happen before they wreck their schedule completely in a few months (based upon the rumors I'm hearing).

I think that brings us up to speed. If not, I'm done typing for now, so anything else will have to wait until later. Til' next time, we may have lost Iowa, but we're going to win it all! We're going to Utah and we're going to Oregon and we're going to Massachusetts and we're going to Guam, and we're going to Alberta, and we're going to Iraq and we're going all the way to the White House to kick out Mr. Bush! Yee-hawwwwwwwwwwww. Thems unidirectional microphones is a bitch, ain't they? :)

posted by Jason  # 2:39 AM

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! I was right all along!!! (Re)read my entry from July 7, 2003 at 3:31 am (it's the second entry on that day) then read the following excerpt that I ran across from AOL News a few moments ago:

"NEW YORK (Nov. 9) - At dawn, armed FBI agents assigned to an anti-terrorism unit converged on an unlikely front in the war on terrorism: a tiny ice cream shop in Brooklyn.

The agents arrested the Yemeni proprietor, a naturalized U.S. citizen, who lived three floors above. Based on a tip, they said, they had learned that $20 million had passed through the bank accounts of his business from 1997 until the raid in January.

The proprietor, Abad Elfgeeh, pleaded guilty last month in a proceeding that escaped notice, perhaps because the illegal money-transfer charge against him never mentioned terrorism.

But a review of court files by The Associated Press revealed that prosecutors believe Elfgeeh was an associate of Sheik Mohammed Hasa Al-Moayad, a prominent Yemeni cleric charged with funneling millions to al-Qaida in the years before the Sept. 11 attacks."

I'd like to think that my Blog is so influential that I had a hand in tipping off the authorities and that I'm now a national hero. Well, one can dream.... :) Still, I cracked up laughing when I saw what happened.

Hmm...maybe I can use this to my advantage--serve my country AND shut down some evil businesses in the process. Hey Feds, I think there are lots of terrorists working for Exxon. Wal Mart, too (c'mon, with so many illegal immigrants working there, some of them must wanna blow us up real good). Go get 'em boys (what's that, you want names?...Give me a break, I'm just playing a hunch, worked last time though, didn't it!). With more terrorists in jail AND Wal Mart and Exxon crippled, we truly can work together to have a better, safer union. :)

...no Tariq, I said I wanted orange sprinkles, not Agent Orange!

(It's a good thing nobody actually reads my drivel, I'd be in for an ass-kicking from so many offended parties right about now...things I'll do for a larf. :) )